Shooting at my feet

I hate this feeling of being in an old spaghetti western where the faceless bad guys are shooting at my feet trying to make me dance. I don't really like to dance and if there are bullets flying at my feet, the odds are very much in favor of those bullets striking my dancing feet while they're moving. So I think I will just call their bluff and stop...and glare....at the cowboy.

In the meantime, while I am waiting to see how that whole glaring thing plays out, I grabbed the audio of one of my textbooks for class and burned it on my MP3 so I can walk this weekend, and work in my yard, and do homework. Maybe there is some hope for this sudo-geek?

Or maybe I am getting a cold. And maybe I had better work my tail off this weekend and get caught up before I screw my classes up beyond saving.

GeeHaw. ArtCat dancing.

...all the best.

I was just thinking about a couple of friends of mine who are getting married tomorrow and ...wishing I could be with them to witness, celebrate, and offer unsolicited advice to them.
Here's to you both...and wishing you all the best from the art cat, her mate, and two kittens.

Waning summer

Most of the flowers are starting to wind down in the garden and I have been harvesting seed for next season. It's time to call it a draw with the weeds. I never win. It's nice to let the goldfinches have the coneflower seeds. They appreciate it. Hummingbirds are feeding with wild abandon, knowing they have a long flight ahead of them. The hollyhocks have the rich, dewladen color of fall. It's OK. It's all OK...I'm ready.

Sunday morning unfurling

It's a soft, drizzly morning and I can hear my husband making the Sunday breakfast in the kitchen; my two cats are lounging on the rug within my sight; we went to the football game yesterday afternoon and watched our team win; and today we will read and study together all day in anticipation of tomorrow's academic flurry. This has the potential to be one of my favorite kinds of days. So, why am I holding my breath? His pain level is minimal and he has stopped taking the muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories, so I am dealing with the person I know again and not some loadie. We know he is going to be fine and he sees his Dr., Wednesday. He may get chewed out about diet or stress but that is all endurable.

Perhaps it is just that I have been reminded that in one vaporlike moment, our lives can change radically. We all know this in our logic mind. We have all experienced loss - be it a job or a loved one - and know the impact that this has on everything that happens in our lives.

Of course we all know that we must not live our lives in fearful anticipation of bad events. Living in fear is not quality of life. And of course, we all know that we cannot live with the wild abandon of someone who lives solely for the present because this shortsightedness can set us up for a tomorrow that can be worse.

What embarrasses me is that I apparently need reminding with some frequency of my priorities- to 'live, laugh, love'. OK, so perhaps this is a good thing. So-- I will choose to merely be reminded....not to take anything or anyone for granted, not to let anyone or anything dictate my life choices, and not to let life's inertia overshadow my life's chosen priorities. Done. Breath.

Excuse me, I am going to go hug my husband and tell him how much I love him.

Regaining equilibrium

I came to work for a bit to touch base and make Monday smoother. It turned into almost a whole day. Good enough. I'm heading for the grocery now to get a roasted chicken, Hawaiian rolls, Cole slaw and a movie and then home to my 'stoned' squeeze. Have I said 'whew' lately?

Quick update to "Fun"

Well, I am home for a few moments to take care of a thing or two - like eating something since I had forgotten to until they brought food to my ravenous man. He had been doing the fast after midnight and all through more tests...stress test...and more tests. End result, he has done fine all along the way with no cardiac alarms going off. So I am supposed to go back and get him at 3:00. We don't really know what the heck the last 2 days have been all about but we will enjoy paying for the marvelous spa, no doubt. I am relieved, to understate it completely, and a bit annoyed that all of this bloodletting and assessing and testing and they can't at least say - yuppers, it looks like ya pulled a chest muscle in a weird place I rekin! It's like an old Godzilla movie where they leave the door open for a sequel. But maybe we can go forward now...and maybe he will stop trying to lift the world by himself. He doesn't remember doing anything in particular but his bookbag and briefcase are wicked. sigh.

Addendum: I got the call to come early and now have the precious cargo home. He is on the phone talking to school...he won't be teaching tomorrow either but because of muscle relaxers, pain killers and maybe a bit of 'what the heck, the week is a loss at this point anyway'. I think I may go in for the morning and then come home too. At this point I have missed the training that I wanted to attend with friends (I hope 'she' lets me catch another session) but can at least go in and salvage my job/prepare for Monday. I'm pooped.

Are we having fun yet?

I am fried tonight and so won't talk long...just wanted to let you all know what is going on in my world today.
Got up this morning, got dressed and ready to head for work. Change of plans. In speed delivery:
my sweetheart is hit with severe pain - chest and neck, all left side - call and cancel his classes - race to the ER - quick EKGs - pain meds - tests - sit and wait -lots of blood letting for more tests - calls to relinquish training spot and bow out of work - admit husband - sit and wait - - It is now 10:30 and I am going to bed. I hated to leave him. Tomorrow he has stress tests and ecohCs, etc. Tests so far are beginning to lean towards non cardiac. That's good, right? So what is the pain? How do we fix this? Did I mention that I am a fixer?
I'll try and keep you posted.
- for now, I sit and wait -

Oh look, she's a redhead!

OK, so I was feeling like I wanted a boost, an infusion of tough, so I colored my hair. My Grandmother had auburn hair when she was young and I have her freckle loaded skin so I thought it might be fun. This is my color. Wheeee.

22
Cinnaberry - Medium Auburn Brown

Home again, home again...

Well, I got up, dressed, and went to work only to find limited power - a brown out, blinking lights, and a very eerie library...and then no power. We got word on the large scale to close and go home by 10. I guess the transformer blew and the battery backups are depleted --and it will take the day (at the very least) to recover even electric, let alone IT functions. Whew.

My husband and I were out playing during the storms, in the rain yesterday. The hail came first...then rain...and this became the cycle for the two hours of deluge. Tornado warnings, lightning, flash floods...we had 11 inches in my area of town, they say. As we were leaving a grocery store parking lot we saw people in a car just swirl into an intersection near the Walgreen. A wading man helped the lady open her door and the water swept into the car. We wove our way home, taking the higher streets everywhere we could. Swamped and stalled cars, choked storm drains, newly formed lakes with shorelines among houses, waves lapping at door stoops, and riverbeds as deep as floorboards where roads should be. Dodging asphalt and debris, we got home to our little house on a hill. Wow.

With a sudden afternoon off, I think I will go out and seize the day.